Why do I Binge Eat? What I’ve learned from reading This Messy Magnificent Life: A Field Guide by Geneen Roth

I’m reading this amazing book by Geneen Roth called This Messy Magnificent Life: A Field Guide. So far, 10/10 would recommend to anybody who has EVER struggled with their body image, wanting to lose weight, or their relationship to eating and food.

As a female in her late twenties who is big on self-development and has ALWAYS struggled with food & body image, This Messy Magnificent Life brings to surface some pretty touchy and prickly emotional wounds that I’ve likely tried to bury since the age of 10 or 11, which is the earliest I can remember being self-conscious about my body.

Since starting the book, one question that has consistently come up whenever I’m on the verge of a food binge, or wanting to eat despite already being uncomfortably full, is to ask myself, “What am I avoiding right now?”

What am I distracting myself from?
What are the feelings I’m unwilling to face?
What are the tasks, responsibilities and stresses I’m trying to bury away with this food?
Where in my life am I feeling powerless and small?
Where in my life am I sabotaging my chances for success?

And my gosh, the list of answers never falls short… when I’m willing to authentically look, that is. I’m actually flabbergasted at the sheer amount of stuff crap my mind attempts to bury away and distract me from with sensory pleasure activities. Throughout my life, it’s been many different things: shopping, exercise, alcohol/drugs, busying myself with social events. But the most constant thing has always been food.

I love food. I love how food tastes. I love how food makes me feel. I love the feeling I get when I have a big meal, or lots of food to look forward to. In low moments, food has often been a driver for me to get up in the morning, or get up and dressed even if I’m feeling super lazy.

But I’ve also hated the way I lose control around food. I’ve hated feeling full to the point where I think my stomach is about to tear open, and stuffing my face anyway. I’ve hated the feeling of a meal coming to an end, while others are still working on their plate. I’ve hated the feelings of emptiness and subsequent punishment that has often followed one of my binge sessions; whether that meant pushing myself excessively hard with physical activity, or restricting and under-eating.

Although I’m not nearly as bad now as I was in my early twenties, my body is TIRED. My metabolism isn’t as fast as it used to be, and with where I am in my life, I’m fed up with the narrative of being a failure/not good enough – which, I’ve discovered, is the root of many of my longstanding problems. After over a decade of this sh*t, it’s just getting really old.

To quote Ariana Grande… Thank U, Next!

Turns out there is a lot I’m still avoiding, or haven’t fully dealt with. And I don’t expect to be able to resolve seventeen years worth of deep-seated issues and detrimental self-beliefs overnight. Geneen Roth’s book has been an eye-opener for me, and if you’ve stuck with me this far into my blog post, I genuinely believe it would be well worth a read for you too.

For now, here are the questions I’m asking myself as I navigate my relationship to food and feelings of self-worth:

  • What am I avoiding?
  • What feelings am I burying?
  • What is it that I’m actually starving for that I’m replacing with food (or other mindless entertainment)? i.e. purpose, love, affection, feeling like I matter, etc.

And the beliefs I’m cultivating:

  • I am worthy of love despite my shortcomings
  • I am worthy of abundance despite my flaws
  • I am worthy of happiness despite the mistakes I’ve made
  • My accomplishments/failures do not dictate my success
  • My accomplishments/failures do not dictate my worthiness as a person

Order your copy of This Messy Magnificent Life: A Field Guide now
Click here to learn more about Geneen Roth’s work and upcoming talks.

🌻 #WhereHappinessBegins
@WhereHappinessBegins_

Featured Image by Dan Gold on Unsplash
This post is not sponsored.

Finding your passion when you want to do all the things

@WhereHappinessBegins_ Finding Your Passion Illustration @HeyAmberRae

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Does anybody else just want to do ALLLLLL the things? Oh man, I’ve stopped and started so many projects as a result of being interested in so many different things – and probably a little bit of FOMO, to be completely honest.
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I’m the epitome of ‘Jack of All Trades, Master of None’, and used to beat myself up for being a “quitter”. It certainly has its pros and cons, but really when it comes down to it, it’s about figuring out what you like/love vs. what you’re PASSIONATE about.
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How would I describe when you’re passionate about something?
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💭 You naturally already live and breathe “it” every day
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🤔 It’s constantly and consistently on your mind, even if you’re not taking physical actions toward it right now
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💁🏻‍♀️ You could talk about it every day, whether you’re sick, tired, or busy – which doesn’t mean you’d WANT to, but you COULD, and probably would get excited about it if somebody asked the right question(s)
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⚡️⚡️ Working on it, talking, and sharing about it energizes the crap out of you! Because if fills you with purpose
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I love what @garyvee says about documenting vs curating when asked how he continues to generate content over a long period of time.
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When you’re passionate about something, and you’re already living and breathing it, all you have to do is document and share your life; your thoughts, your actions, your progress.
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When you share your passion from your heart in a REAL way, it’s palpable and electrifying for others. When you create from an authentic place with authentic intentions, SOMEONE somewhere out there will resonate with what you have to say.
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That’s where the conversation starts, and the magic happens.

🌻 #WhereHappinessBegins
@WhereHappinessBegins_
Photo via @heyamberrae

Cocktails with Seedlip Gin

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Majorly cutting down on alcohol has been a relatively long and difficult journey! These days my alcohol consumption is few to none.

My reasons for reducing alcohol intake:

  • Getting tired of the same old weekend haze, doing the same shit, with the same people
  • Questionable, or emotional decision-making
  • How expensive it is!
  • Empty calories
  • Negative effects on my body and skin (bloating, water retention, dullness)
  • Occasional post-drinking blues
  • Brain fog & fatigue for DAYS
  • Seeing the amazing people around me who DON’T drink and have just as much, if not more, fun
  • Wanting to fully experience everything I’m doing and the conversations I’m having
  • Wanting to learn how to break down my own mental/emotional barriers without the help of alcohol
  • Wanting to learn how to manage my own stress from the week without having to rely on alcohol to “unwind”

This journey has definitely been so much easier with brands today such as @seedlipdrinks creating such cool, sophisticated high quality non-alcoholic spirits that are beautifully branded as well.

Location: Daylesford Farmshop & Café, London, United Kingdom

#WhereHappinessBegins #CraveGoodDrinks #HappyTravels
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